My List

My list of things to do in the next 24 hours:

*Pharmacology paper- teaching about Xanax
*Nursing Psych paper
*Renal/Urinary test
*Donate plasma
*Work 8 hours
*Study for Pharm test
*Nursing Peds reading assignment
*Clean the kitchen
*Work on Pharm worksheet
*Grocery shopping

I guess I should stop blogging/procrasinating and get to work!....but I really don't want to! :/  haha

No Such Thing as a Vacation in the Middle of the Week?? .....Liar!

In the middle of the week, I had a mini little vay-cay.  Me and my friend, Brit, went to a concert up north at UVU.  We saw Auburn, Iyaz, B.o.B. and Jason Derulo.  It was a great trip!  Some how, me and Britni can entertain eachother, without getting bored or sick of eachother, for the 3 1/2 hour car ride there, and then back.  The concert was so good, especially for so cheap.  I was surprised at how well each of the 3 rappers could sing!  They actually have a voice (and quite nice bodies haha)!  We sang along and danced into the night.

After the concert, me and Brit were gonna catch up with an old friend before calling it a night, when we continued to get lost over and over again--on the same two streets too! And I am proud to say it wasn't me being directionally challenged that cause it!  It was pure miscommunication -and some bad directions from a friend of a friend, and the GPS was wrong too....But after about an hour and a half, we got it worked out! We were up sooo late, because of it.  We couldn't "be found" and then take off.  We still had to play!

We woke up after just a couple hours of sleep, rolled outta bed, brushed our teeth, grabbed a bit to eat, and hit the road.  I had a chem lab to go to and Brit had 4 hours of work to go to, back in St. George.  We were both exhausted, but we sang songs at the top of our lungs, and laughed til our abs hurt, until we made it back home.

It was completely worth the exhaustion.  I had a blast!  And I love spending time with Britni!  She is one of my few friends that are consistent, dependable, and there for me.  We always have a good time, whether we are bumming it in pjs, watching movies, going to Texas Roadhouse, or hittin the road for a quick vacation.

Puzzles & Daydreaming

In the past few days, I have experienced things for the first time, seen things I've never seen before.  It wasn't really the easiest at the moment, and honestly, even at the present.  But keeping the big picture in mind, and not just thinking about this minute, it is good.  It gives me hope.  I know that there is some good out there, and I can find it.

The thing that gets me is that, sometimes, what you want, and what you want now, don't match.  It doesn't make any sense to me how that works.  Its like saying you can put two pieces of the puzzle together, and they fit! Okay, now you have to put them into place with the rest of the puzzle--now they don't fit.  It defys logic.  I am a passionate girl--you'd be kidding yourself if you thought otherwise.  I am passion, but I am smart too.  I am logical.  It mystifies me.

My schedule has not lightened up much.  It is still hectic, and I should be doing something just about every second of the day, but I have found myself not being able to focus on anything! Everything is taking me so much longer to get done.  I can't focus, but the crazy thing is, I can't tell you what in the world I'm thinking about or doing that's occupying all my time.  I will look down at my book, daze out into my own, unknown thoughts, and when I look up, almost two hours have gone by.  That's not good.  I better get some weights strapped to my feet to keep me here in reality.  I don't have time for day dreaming.  Day dreaming gets me into too much trouble.

The Countdown Has Started....Already!

School has kept me wayyyyy too busy for the last month! I'm already counting down the days til the end of the semester is here! I have been so stressed, I am surpirsed I don't have a head of white hair already.  The second semester of the nursing program, the 2 extra classes I'm taking, plus work, is enough to drive anyone insane!

Then you have to remember the need to get some sleep, eat, and not to mention, have a little fun.  I've gotten lunch with Ashley and Bryton and Brylee.  Bryton is still my ray of sunshine on a cloudy, wet day.  Squeeze in some study sessions with friends, dinner with the girls from work, or a bbq here and there, and you have my last 5 weeks.  Well, and then there's my periodic stops at Sinclair.  I've gotten some good advice from Austin.  He is determined that I am not taking care of myself enough.  Crackin some jokes with Trevor.  Feeling like I'm ten years old leaving the hospital with Rylee after our day at clinicals.  Surprise visit from my dad.  A spur of the moment move. Sleep deprivation taking a bigger and bigger toll everyday, and the rush to be at clinicals at 5:45 in the morning, when you wake up at 5:41.

Now, I just need to find time to breathe.

music is what feelings SOUND like

I absolutely love music!  It says things better than I ever could! It expresses my feelings with the words I try to find!  Music will be there to give me hope!  Music is there to put me in a good mood, when nothing else will.  Music is an intricate part of my life- an intricate part of me.

Some songs I can't stop listening to in the past week or so:
       (there is no special order)

• Jaron & the Long Road Home- Pray for You
• Boys Like Girls- Love Drunk
• Gary Allan- Watching Airplanes
• Glee Cast- Hello
• Lady Antebellum- Need You Now
• Jason Mraz- Lucky
• Miley Cyrus- The Climb
• Snow Patrol- Chasing Cars
• Josh Turner- Why Don't We Just Dance
• Josh Turner- Me and God
• Lee Brice- Love Like Crazy
• Parachute- The Mess I Made
• Glee Cast- I Dreamed a Dream
• Carrie Underwood- Undo It
• Vega 4- Life is Beautiful
• Snow Patrol- Run
• Switchfoot- 24
• Ingrid Michaelson- Keep Breathing
• Jon Mclaughlin- Close
• Glee Cast- To Sir, With Love
• Josh Turner- Soulmate
• Jarod Niemann- Lover, Lover
• B.o.B.- Airplanes
• Luke Bryan- Rain is a Good Thing
• Muse- Uprising
• Ke$ha- Your Love is My Drug

I know its a lot.  Would you believe me that this was me cutting it down???  Well it was! It was hard for me to even narrow it down to this!  Have I said I love music? 

"Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole. flows from heaven to the soul."

Reflecting, Inspiration, Work

The past few days I've done a lot of reflecting- thinking about what I want, where I am, where I want to be.  I realized that I have so far to go, but no worries, I'm on my way, and I will get there.  Yeah it might sound cheesy and cliche, but you know it doesn't make it any less true.

Lately, I have felt like spending all day with art.  I just want to draw all the time.  The only problem I can't find anything that I want to draw. I have no ideas, no inspiration, on what to do.  The other day, I got out all my art stuff, but sat there for ages trying to figure out what to do.  Yeah, I never came up with anything. I gotta find something, some sort inspiration, cuz its driving me crazy!

I am back to the real world of work, clean, work, sleep, and work some more.  It is ok though, because I need to earn the money! money, money, money.  There never seems to be enough.  Boy I can't wait until the end of the year, when I can actually start making some real money!

False Hopes

Have you ever built something up in your mind even though you tell everyone, even yourself, that you're indifferent, that it doesn't matter, that you aren't expecting anything?  In reality you have these high hopes buried deep down inside but you refuse to admit and acknowledge?  But then it hits you like a ton of bricks when you realize that they were all false?  I'm doing just that- trying to crawl out of an avalanche of bricks. Hopefully it makes me wiser, stronger, more determined.  And not dumber and more skittish.  Wise. Stong. Determined. Say it again. Wise. Strong. Determined.