False Hopes

Have you ever built something up in your mind even though you tell everyone, even yourself, that you're indifferent, that it doesn't matter, that you aren't expecting anything?  In reality you have these high hopes buried deep down inside but you refuse to admit and acknowledge?  But then it hits you like a ton of bricks when you realize that they were all false?  I'm doing just that- trying to crawl out of an avalanche of bricks. Hopefully it makes me wiser, stronger, more determined.  And not dumber and more skittish.  Wise. Stong. Determined. Say it again. Wise. Strong. Determined.

we could RUN away

For the past few weeks, I feel like all I have done is work.  And if I'm not working, then I'm trying to catch up on sleeping.  I need as many work hours as I can get, but this is also supposed to be my summer BREAK.  Its not much of a break.  I just feel really drained.  The cherry on top, my favorite resident (patient) at work died.  I was the only one working at the time.  I had to be the one to clean her and get her ready for her family to see.  It was good she passed on, but I didn't want to see her after she'd gone.  I actually have more than one day off this week, so I am going to try and have some fun, relax, and have some "me" time.  I have decided to run away for the next couple days!


I was just going through some pictures this morning, and I realized I have squeezed in some laughs even though I'm becoming more of a work-a-holic everyday, and am completely exhausted.  Whether it is making wonderful birthday cakes, hitting a midnight movie and a late night birthday bash after work, putting up some room decorations in my room before bed and going to sleep feeling content,  impressing people with my mad bowling skills, or sitting in the back of a theater laughing at the movie or counting down the minutes til its over with a friend. I have to remember those little things that make me smile through out the week!

Oh good news of week.  I actually went grocery shopping for the first time in over 3 weeks! yesss. I actually have a little something to eat now when I'm home.

And So It Begins...

I have been so busy, I haven't even thought of my blog! So there's a lot to catch up on and to say.

Its summer time! I'm out of school. Working as many hours as I can.  Playing with Bryton and Brylee for much longer than I ever plan.  Going to Lake Powell for the weekend.  Meeting new people in the most random or unexpected times, and hitting it off.  Hitting the gym (including at 5:45 am to do zumba :D ahaha) Laying out and swimming in order to keep cool in the 105 degree weather.  Yep, its definately summer time!

On top of working and being at the pool, I have caught up with some old friends I hadn't talked to in too long.  It has been so nice.  Whether we've gone out and hit the town, or simply sent a little text, its nice to have them involved in my life again.

I love my new place.  I have my own room, although lacking in decoration and "Chelsea-ness", I love it.  It is a place I love to go to inorder to relax after a long day, to retreat to after a hard day, or simply to catch a little cat nap (which I admit I have been doing a little too often for my own good).

I was able to see Nightmare on Elm Street at a midnight showing (which i've decided was the most amazing and the scariest movie of all time), I went to Disneyland, and got to spend some good "quality" time shopping with Lex.

I recently got home from a weekend at Lake Powell.  It was my first time there, and it was fun! It went by way too fast! But maybe that was a good thing, considering I'm still a little sore from it. haha. It was gorgeous there, and it was a good escape from the day to day life.  I got some good sun in that weekend. Even though I lathered on sunscreen all day long, I still came home a good few shades darker.  In fact, the first time Ashley saw me after Powell, she said I am now dark enough to pull off being Mexican since I have brown hair now. Haha It was quite a funny!

But the summer has just started!  Who knows what summer has in store for me, but here's a few things I would like to see happen yet this summer:
- find my favorite place to hike
- vist home and be a host
- go to the beach
- Twilight, New Moon, and then see ECLIPSE
- Finish putting my "Chelsea" touches in my room
- have a picnic
- float down the river
- be taken on an amazing & creative date!